Ho Ho Ho woke up this morning with a scary feeling
Realized it was November first
Christmas oh my god it's nearing
What am I to do I said
Then I covered up my head
Prayed for sleep for two more months until this holy mess is over
Wasn't that lucky I turned on the TV
Beanie Babies on the news
Biggest selling gift this year
What's a tired Jew to do?
So TV off, Try to escape, Called my Friend from Silver lake
Said to meet on Fairfax for some some coffee and a cougal

Talk about our fear and dread of tinsel lights and parties
Suddenly like a bad dream
Fairfax was transformed into a holiday paradise everywhere was Hanukah
Shiny Sparkly blue and white isn't this a little soon
I got up quick ran to the mall
Before my pain got any worse
What a stupid thing to do
I'm a sitting duck in Santa's zoo
Suddenly I couldn?t walk
I couldn't breathe I couldn't move
Children running everywhere
Screaming 'tis this season

Merry Christmas Merry Christmas
But I think I'll miss this one this year
Merry Christmas Merry Christmas
But I think I'll miss this one this year

Merry Christmas Merry Christmas
But I think I'll miss this one this year
Merry Christmas Merry Christmas
But I think I'll miss this one this year

December first the pains have gone
Thought about Adams Hanukkah song
He forgot to mention me
That's ok his song was better
Photograph on Santa's lap
Now over my fear of shopping
Bought gifts for all my goiant friends
One for each, not eight
Sorting cards from all my friends
Sweet of them to take the time
One pile for all the Christmas cards from friends who just don?t get it yet
Hanukkah day on overload I just cannot stop eating
I have so many lackey that my tush is going to explode

Thought I'd walk it off and so I walk to the Kabala Center just to kill some time I
thought I spotted
Madonna
Christmas Day Hanukkah's done
Woke up feeling funny
Cause I lost half my hair and I have spent all of my money
What's a Jew to do today?
LA is a ghost town
Looks just like another year of movies and Chinese food
Then suddenly I laughed and laughed and caught on to that was happening
Christmas magic brought this tale to a very happy ending

Merry Christmas Merry Christmas
I couldnt miss this one this year
Merry Christmas Merry Christmas
But I couldnt miss this one this year

Merry Christmas Merry Christmas
But I couldnt miss this one this year
Merry Christmas Merry Christmas
But I couldnt miss this one this year